My friend Becky moved to Connecticut July 10th. I joked my way through the weeks and days preceding the move, making both her and I laugh. If we didn't laugh, I knew we'd cry and I wasn't ready to feel the loss of my friend just yet. Part of me held out hope that she'd call before the "big day" actually happened saying that her husband had changed his mind about the new job and that they were going to stay after all. But, they did go -- and I stood in the garage that Saturday morning clutching the gift she'd brought, watching her car back precariously down my long driveway one last time, finally allowing the tears to flow.

When Becky and I first met I didn't think we'd be particularly good friends. We were just too opposite. I thought she was a nice woman, but a bit legalistic and in drastic need of loosening up. I never did ask what she originally thought of me! But Matt and her son Dan had become friends and she had two older daughters who were of perfect babysitting age, so I started to call her every once in a while. I even came to the conclusion that God had probably put us together so that I could teach her a few things -- and besides, she liked my slightly off-center sense of humor. I began to call her more frequently.

Over the next several years our friendship grew and developed. We talked at least several times a week, sometimes for an hour or more on the phone. Fortunately, we both had very long extension cords on our telephones so that we could work around the house and talk at the same time. (Sort of a "Waltons-by-wire" situation, I guess you could say.)

I have friends I've known much longer than I've known Becky -- a few reaching back 20-plus years -- but no friendship I've enjoyed more. I was deeply saddened to think that the wonderful conversations we had were going to cease and that there seemed to be no one else out there to talk to in quite the same way.

I prayed about my friendship with Becky and asked the Lord to show me what He wanted me to have learned from it -- and what made it different from my other relationships. The answer was simple -- the Lord was central to and in this friendship. We not only talked about our kids and husbands, vacation plans and the myriad of every day details that make up life, but we talked in depth about what God was doing in our lives. I could call Becky excited about Scripture I had read -- "I'm reading Nehemiah. You'll never believe what the Lord showed me this morning." Becky would call to talk about God's grace and goodness in answered prayers. We shared the differences of our beliefs (my charismatic background; Becky's conservative Baptist). Most of our conversations centered around the Lord. God used our friendship to refine and teach both of us.

Mainly what the Lord showed me through Becky was the pure joy of talking about Him with a friend, the joy of making Him the core of this relationship. Putting our eyes on Jesus caused Becky and I to stop looking at our differences and become united in a friendship deeper than any I had experienced before. This is what I believe God would have us do and be in all relationships, not just with one special friend. Not just on Sunday at church, not just on Monday or Wednesday or Friday or whatever day you choose to attend a home group. Every day with every one. Anything less than this is superficial -- sort of the difference between a Thanksgiving feast and a quick burger at McD's.

Matthew 18:20 says "For where two or three have gathered together in my name, there I am in their midst." Jesus didn't say "gathered together to praise" or "pray" or "gathered together for formal Bible study." Simply "gathered together in my name." A friend or two getting together with Christ as their focus -- and there He is, right in the "midst", in the central part of our lives where He belongs.

The Lord showed me that I can never go back to the "quick burger" -- the superficial friendship again. There's too much joy and feasting to be had when He is there. He can break down walls and unite us in ways we never dreamed possible. Praise God. And I thought she was going to learn from me! Thanks, Becky.